I love operating system updates. I can’t resist. And I mean the x.0 updates. I still have my OS X 10.0 box that I bought on March 24, 2001, the day that it was released. Yes, I know they might be buggy and I should probably wait for a couple of minor updates before jumping in, but it’s like geek crack. I cannot help myself.
When I updated my iPhone 5 to iOS 7 I was confident that I would enjoy the new operating system. My iPhone 5 is plenty fast enough to handle any OS that Apple would send my way for the next 2-3 years.
I was right. I downloaded it and I like it. Some of the colors are a little bit too bubblegum for me but overall I am enjoying the change (I’m working on a post that highlights my favorite changes).
At my house I am always the guinea pig for new technology. Any big updates happen to my Mac or my iOS device first. The one thing I have to avoid is doing anything to my wife’s tech devices that would cause her to suddenly notice that she is using a modern tech device. She must USE the iPhone, but she must not SEE the iPhone (if she could be a luddite, she would). It’s very important that I not disrupt this very sensitive ecosystem, so I’m over-the-top cautious about updates on her devices.
The word “disruption” does not even come close to what I did next. Try “APOCALYPSE.” Now we are getting close.
After three days with iOS 7 on my iPhone 5, I felt confident that she would enjoy the new operating system on her iPhone 4S, mostly because of the quick access to essential system settings that the Control Center provides. That was the main thing that I thought she would enjoy. And I was right: Brightness controls were right there at her fingertips, along with Bluetooth and Do Not Disturb mode. I was so happy! Technology was really starting to get out-of-the-way.
And then without warning, it ran over her like a Mack truck hits a darting squirrel.
Only after I ran the update did I notice the heavy activity on Apple’s support forums. I knew this was trouble: iPhone 4S users are having serious trouble with their battery after they install iOS 7.
For an entire day the battery meter said she was at 1%. The phone lasted all day so I thought the only problem here is that the system isn’t reading the battery life properly. A simple x.x.x update from Apple should correct this. But then her phone completely ran out of juice and that was the last we heard from her.
INITIATE: worst-case scenario protocol. My wife would have to take her own phone into the Apple store 10 days after her warranty had expired and tell them that she would not leave without an iPhone that was functional.
Normally I would handle a situation like this myself. There’s no need for her to drag our kids into the mall just to get an iPhone replaced. But she was angry, and wanted justice.
“My iPhone worked perfectly, and then I did what Apple told me to do: I tapped ‘Update’ after I was prompted. There is no reason I shouldn’t get a repair or a replacement in this situation! Apple bricked my phone!”
At this point, I could only pray that the Apple associate didn’t offer her the option to purchase another iPhone. If that happened, I was pretty sure that her head would literally explode all over the kids who would certainly be playing on the iPads nearby.
Fortunately, I can summarize the end of the story in one sentence:
APPLE DID THE RIGHT THING.
I was able to meet her at the Apple Store and join the conversation. By this time, her fiery determination had fizzled. She waited and waited while they made multiple attempts, probably using tiny defibrillator paddles, to resurrect her iPhone. After 90 minutes, she just wanted to get out of there.*
My conversation with the abundantly helpful associate was fairly short: “Hi, my name is Jason. Apple blew up my wife’s phone, and I’m gonna need a replacement if you can’t fix it.”
The associate retrieved the manager, told him the situation, and then I heard best response I’ve heard from a supervisor in a situation like this:
“[To the team member who was helping me] What do you think we should do?”
“I think we should replace the phone.”
“Ok, then, let’s do it.”
Within 10 minutes, we walked out with a new iPhone 4S running the most recent version of iOS 6.
You can guess her response when I offered to upgrade it to iOS 7. Just think like a old sailor and start cussing.
* The 90-minute wait was only because she showed up very early for her Genius Bar appointment. They were actually only 15 minutes behind the time she had scheduled.